Is therapy therapeutic?

So I did my first session of therapy last night...yes, I'm admitting I'm all messed up in the brain...deal with it...since the going back to work and abandoning my child (I know I'm really not, but you know how it feels like) and the loss of Bella in our lives happening at the same time, it's triggered an emotional "crumbling"...if you will...so needless to say, I've been off my game for quite a while.
Anyway, after seeing my doctor and her suggesting I try therapy, I went to my first session last night. First off, I was nervous...I kept thinking "What if I open something that won't go back in? What if this fucks up my life MORE? Or ruins my marriage? Or reduces me to a slippery puddle of emotional goo that can't function in normal society anymore?" I walked into the office and waited until I saw "THE THERAPIST." I had no clue what she would look like or even be like. What if I said "Hi!" and she says "Wow, you're messed up!" I met her (short, warm friendly face, short hair, kind of looked like an aunt would) and we sat in her office. I had the option of a chair or "the couch." Not gonna lie, the couch scared me. I thought "Do I have to lay down on it?" "Why do people want to lay down and talk?" I overthink clearly too much! But since the chair had too much direct sunlight, I chose comfy couch over wearing sunglasses for my appointment. First off, I looked at her waiting for her to make the first move...what the hell do I say? Do I go chronologically? By most recent? Do I just spin a wheel and pick a time? Luckily, she understands that not everyone knows why or what they are doing and she asked me questions. And since we all know I'm a chatterbox (shut up...no comments people!), I was able to talk...I was all over the place...I even managed to put in my own theories on what I had (damn reporter in me has to investigate and figure stuff out). I'm not going into details...I'm really not that exciting, let's face it, but overall, I was crazy agitated after. I was trying to calm myself down when she said "It's normal to be all worked up and agitated after talking. So go home and do some exercise, vacuum or just cuddle with your daughter and let it out." I was relieved to hear that it was ok to be all jumbled up. I drove home (taking the scenic back route...I kind of miss that drive from Beamsville to Grimsby) and came home to a enthusiastic toddler, a wonderful husband and an lovey dovey cat. I know I'm not a lost cause and I have so much to be grateful for. I hope this therapy helps me to learn how to cope and appreciate the stuff I have better. And for the record, my bathtub is all sparkling clean...

Lyrics that really nail me right now

Yes, I know this is going to seem depressing but this song really nails it on the head how I've been feeling, especially in the last year.

UNWELL BY MATCHBOX TWENTY

All day
Staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night
Hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
I'm feeling like I'm headed for a
Breakdown
I don't know why
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Me
Talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
I know
I know they've all been talking 'bout me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong
With me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow
I've lost my mind
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
I been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Hey, how I used to be
How I used to be, yeah
Well I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be