The Three-Year-Old Roller Coaster Of My Life

Three years...I can't believe that my baby, once a tiny fragment of time and space, is now 3 years old. She is a walking, talking little person who has thoughts, imagination and a personality like no one else. I used to carry her in my belly. Now I carry her ON my belly...well to the side of it. Her tiny little fists used to curl around my pinkie finger. Now her little hand curls itself into my hand when we walk. Her hair used to be a little fuzz on the top of her head. Now her hair grows (wild) down her back, into her face and I am forever trying to tame it into submission (against her vehement protests and cries). I can't believe how much these 3 years have changed everything. Things I never realized about motherhood: 1. How EVERY day is a challenge full of rewards and exhaustion. -She can wear me out and make me sigh with happiness in the span of five minutes...no lie. Between potty training, getting rid of her bottle, brushing teeth and learning manners...I'm wiped out thinking about what more we have to do...then I remember she starts junior kindergarten next year...and I'm ready to pass out... 2. How I couldn't do what I do without my support network. -My husband is officially my saviour. I couldn't deal without having him there to keep me from melting down. He takes over without me having to say anything (usually the screaming and crying jolts him-Abby's, not mine!) and calms her and I down when both of us are overwrought and breaking down. My mom, who watches my girl two days a week for free and keeps her overnight once a week, give us a break and saves us some money and takes care of her just like a grandma would...with lots of TLC and home cooking! My neighbour and friend, who watches her three days a week, is amazing to her and charges us WAY less than we would have to pay elsewhere and never penalizes us for if Abby is sick or if we have to switch a day or ask for another day at the last minute. 3. How stubborn she can be. -Holy mama, is my child independent and stubborn. If she likes something, game on. If she doesn't, there is NO power on earth that will change her mind. I am constantly learning what my mom always said "Choose your battles" So if she decides AGAINST wearing a coat, I will bring it along and put it on her once she realized it's cold out, instead of struggling forever trying to get (and keep) it on her. It's a work in progress. 4. How hilarious I think my child is. -My mom used to say my brother and I always amused the "heck" out of her. And here I had always thought it was just my brother (known as the funny one). I get it now. Abby, with her insights, thoughts and imagination, kill me. I don't think one day goes by that she doesn't make me genuinely laugh. 5. How truly hard it is to be a mom...but it's worth it. -I can be having the worst day ever, ready to run away from it all and all it takes is those moments in the dark when I cuddle with her in bed and she reaches over and strokes my face, plays with my hair and whispers "I love you Mommy". Nothing, NOTHING, kills those bad moments in life quicker. 6. How much I love being her mommy. -When she's upset, she wants me to pick her up, rock side to side, kiss her head and stroke her hair. Her hand always reaches behind my head and strokes my ponytail and her body is completely melded into mine. Though she is getting bigger and bigger, heavier and heavier, I will pick her up as long as I can and give her that comfort. I know that as she gets older, more and more challenges will be thrown at me and my relationship with her. But I know that right now, my little girl is still my little girl and I'm ok with letting it stay that way for a while.