Hello, my name is Peggy. I have one beautiful child, whom I adore excessively and I’m also married to the best man in the whole world...for me! I’m a full time working mom (who wishes some days she could be a stay-at-home mom) and I’ve decided to start blogging because I have verbal diarrhea and might as well have written diarrhea too! Plus, I think it will be both cathartic and entertaining to document my life as it is now. Dealing with a child while in my 30’s, being married (and currently with my man for 11 years), having Celiac Disease, being a writer, wishing for more happiness and balance in my life, etc. Plus, I have to deal with myself and learning how to be more positive and happy with MYSELF. This is proving to be more difficult than I anticipated.
So how do you be happier? I ponder this question a lot. I know I WANT to be happy. I know I have no excuse NOT to be happy. So what stops me from being happy? The only answer I can come up with is...myself. I’m blocking myself somehow and I need to figure out how to change my mindset. But how? What can I physically do? Emotionally? Spiritually?
I’ve been back at work full time since August and it’s been a harder adjustment than I ever realized. I’m not one of those moms who can’t WAIT to get back to work. I’m the one who leaves her happy, smiling baby in someone else’s arms and wishes that I weren’t making that hour long commute to Mississauga to sit at a desk and do a job that causes a LOT of stress (though it does satisfy some of my interests). So, I envy those who get to cuddle, kiss, hug and spend all day playing with my little angel.
And time has become my mortal enemy. I thought I could do it all. Keep it up at work and come home to a happy home and family and all I’d have to do is put in some time and everything would work out fine. Yep, didn’t happen. I know, stupid, huh?
I don’t want to be a complainer though, so I do my best to suck it up. But lately, the nagging thoughts of self-destruction, the overwhelming amount of things that I really want to get done, the expectations to keep up and well, I’ve officially fallen apart. I admit it.
I used to believe in “fake it until you make it,” so maybe that’s how I can get myself back on track because, let’s face it, no one can do anything about my happiness other than ME!
I hope to become a consistent blogger and maybe purge some of my emotional cargo in the process...wishful thinking?
