Had a breakdown last night

After my drunken debauchery post, I was remembering what I did last night and it was a whole other set of emotions. We were watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition the season finale (which was for Mother's Day) and yes, I know the show can be pretty mushy but I'm a tough cookie (ok, who am I kidding? But I can usually hold it together past a few misty eyed moments). But this episode was about a volleyball coach who took in one of her players and her two sisters because both of their parents died from drug overdoses. They had cameras recording people thanking their moms and this one came on and said that ever since she became a step mom, she knew what it was like to let a child that wasn't born of you into your heart. Then she said "It doesn't matter if they were born yours or not, they will always be your child." I totally caved. Right from the get go, I gave my heart to Bella and loved her and what that woman said was absolutely the truth. She is my child. Whether she was born my child or not, I have been a parent to her. I jumped in with everything I had. Bella may have rejected me but I will NEVER stop loving her and she will always be my child...I never meant to lose it over a simple sentence, but thankfully Clayton came over and held me. It's hard for both of us, but definitely harder when something brings up the emotion so hard. Despite what people say about time healing the broken heart...I feel like time is only making the ache worse...but I will continue to love her no matter how long she is gone...